“She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26”
My childhood and teenage years were spent in emotional silence. If any emotion was shown it would either be ignored or used against me. The emotional neglect worked its way out into my early adult life. In my early 20’s I found my voice – which was not always a positive thing! I wore my emotions on the outside – if I was angry I showed it, if I had an opinion you needed to hear it and during that ‘time of month’ I was entitled to act and react any way I wanted.’
I remember being challenged by my husband who told me that I needed to get my emotions in line, that they were “out of control” and that I was using my menstrual cycle to excuse my behaviour. Believe me I didn’t like what I heard! My emotions and moods were controlling me and I found that I was being tossed and turned like the waves in the sea – I was unstable in all of my ways.
With lots of prayer and practical help from my husband, I was able to turn the emotional roller-coaster that I was on around. It took discipline, hard work and self-control to hold my tongue. And there were times that I had to remove myself from situations where I knew I could spiral out of control. That little bit of hard work has made a life-time of joy and victory – I am no longer an emotional clanging gong!
I love what Paul writes in Corinthians 13:11 (NLT), ‘When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.’ I want to encourage you as women to consider Paul’s words and to grow into being dignified women of God. I want to be part of a generation of women who are respected and known as being women who practise self-control over their emotions and over their tongues, women known for their Godliness and wisdom – not for their moods and excessive emotional behaviour.
What does a dignified woman of God look like and how does she react? Proverbs speaks of a woman who can be trusted (she does not gossip) and who can encourage good and does not cause harm. She is energetic and strong. She is clothed with strength and dignity, she laughs without fear of the future (she is not anxious). When she speaks, her words are wise (she thinks before she speaks), and she gives instructions with kindness.